Anyway...
As I creep closer towards the flirty 30 club, I feel a strange sense of relief. I loathe nightclubs and I'm expecting my 30's to be filled with gluten free baking, fine wine collecting and out of body experiences in New Orleans with Mr Amazing. There's a certain comfort and confidence that comes with coming of age (I like to refer to the 30th as the er... second coming) For example:
I used to avoid wearing monochrome when dining out so as not to be mistaken yet again for the waiting staff. Now, I wear whatever the hell I want and if someone is fool enough to try and order from me, I happily take that order and inform them that there will be a slight delay with the food but if they order champagne at the bar, it will not be added to their bill. Eat that!
So on that note, here is my 2 pence worth on embracing maturity, with a special dedication to those who are old enough to remember way back when Britney was allegedly a virgin and to those who come from a simpler time where one could not use the internet and the house phone at the same time.
Negative people will appear in your life as frequently as a TescoPretabury Metro pops up on a patch of land. Though we may prefer to support our local shops, buy organically farmed produce and mop up our balsamic reductions with artisan bread, there will come a time when you need muscovado sugar at 7 am on a Sunday so we must recognise TescoPretabury's place in society. This is my long winded way of saying embrace the naysayers for they usually work in your Finance or IT Department and can make your life heaven or hell.
You cannot 'tolerate' something you believe to be equal to yourself and by that reasoning I don't believe in tolerance nor do I wish to tolerated, endured or accepted. Sometimes you may be misjudged or mistreated but never take the ignorance of others to heart.
Don't wait until you hit a certain milestone to get working on that Bucket List. Once in a while it's extremely liberating to stop over thinking things and just go with your intuition.
Don't make excuses for a love interest. You know when I realised that 'I'm not ready for a relationship right now' was bullshit? When I told the lie myself! I don't believe there is a single person on this earth who would not want to love and be loved so if someone does not respect you enough to give you the truth, respect yourself enough to move on quickly.
Never date when you are feeling vulnerable. You will only attract bottom dwellers who aim to keep your self-esteem as low as their position on the eligible bachelors list (somewhere above Iain Duncan Smith but below Charlie Sheen)
Unless you're very lucky, a friend or partner will wrong you and try to justify their actions by saying it was done out of love. This act, in itself is a mark of unrepentant insincerity. When a person tries to pee on your head then tell you it's raining, make sure you have you umbrella ready before they get their pants down!
I can't eat what I want anymore but that's cool, Woman cannot sustain humanity on Haribo alone and apples are marginally cheaper.
The twenties are a beautifully troublesome period full of learning, collecting material things, uncertainty, entry level purgatory and the daily struggle of usurping those bitches who seem like they're out to get you. Now spotting that Island I can swim to for rest, nourishment and salvation, I see a time in the near future where I can focus my energy on the things that really matter and have time to ponder once again on why people buy expensive bottles of wine that they don't intend to drink for years. I sit on my Island as a BOSS!
Xx
