The F* word...

I was watching some stand-up last month and the comic came up with the following brilliant, but very crude comment on the state of modern relationships:

“I’ll tell you why teenage pregnancy is so high these days, fingering has gone out of fashion”

Ok… I’ll let you recover from that one… He has a very valid point though. Despite being comfortably out of my teens I still feel pressure to conform to this skip all the bases, casual- multiple –monogamy culture. Being a rebel, I don’t conform but there is undeniable pressure to do so. If you don’t you’re seen as backward, will probably be left behind on the scrap heap, be rubbish when you do meet ‘The One’ or you are simply the anti-Christ of feminism.

Why are we rushing to get to the bit that ultimately lasts about 3 minutes? And why is everyone giving it up so easily, worse still, criticising those who chose not to? You don’t have to be a man of the cloth to believe that sex should at the very least be with someone you know reasonably well…or at least their real full name because I’m almost certain you didn’t pull William Windsor in All Bar One.

Going in search of some random, sweaty, meaningless encounter just sounds a little bleak to me. A lonely generation of shallow, unhealthy, Twitter obsessed people looking for something to fill the void. I’d rather not, thanks. I'm no nun (I don’t think I'm kinky enough for the role) but what is the point of all of this indiscriminate sexing?

Are we so pressed for time that we can’t participate in little romantic gestures any more? We even have the time saving magic of text... But then I forget the messaging rules, never more than 15 a day and you can only put kisses at the end if they do something exceptional unless they respond with a kiss first, in which case you have the option of reciprocating…YAWN. True romance is dead. Here is it's tombstone and underneath lay a thousand sonnets written in vain.

Every trend comes to an end, so I hope that this one does too. And soon. I don't want to cut to the chase, Kiss chase is the best part! So let's bring it back along with heavy petting, sharing your last rolo and making puppy dog eyes at each other over loveheart sweets. I don't care what everyone does privately but I'd rather not be part of an age-group that has record STDs. It's just not sexy fresh.

Besos Xx